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Iranian Man - مرد ایرانی
IranDokht.com  >  Hot Debate  >  Iranian Man - مرد ایرانی
About This Debate 
Increasingly Iranian women who grow up in the West choose Western men over Iranian men for dating or marriage. They claim that relationships with Iranian men are often caught in a web of traditional under codes that gradually force them to take traditional roles and undermine their independence and confidence. ... Read More
Artist: Sadaf Kiani  
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posted by dahlia on 04/22/09
persian man

and he never showed any signs of remorse. My friends who knows about him calls him a sex maniac because he would ask any woman to date with him, doesn't matter if your young or old. It makes him feels he is so handsome and lovable. He plays with womens emotions. I know men in the middle east are very respectful of their mother but have they ever thought she was a woman too?
posted by dahlia on 04/22/09
foolish 35 years old iranian man

Hi,

I have dated an Iranian man.In the beginning I thought he was a gentelman, hardworking man. He told me he has no vices, he does not , smoke,drink ,all he does is work , go home and clean he's house. He said he had a lot of relationship but did not last because all the women he have had a relationship were not good and they all had vices, they smoke etc.. so he broke up with them. I found a few months after that he had asked most of the women in my department to have a date with him. His work involve going from one place to another place and I have found out that not only in my working did he ask the women to go out with him but in his another working place that he goes to. I felt so stupid because I have love him.
posted by noname32 on 12/20/08
American woman - Persian Man

Six months ago I started seeing a Persian man. He is in his mid-30s and I am in my early 40s. Up front, he told me that he had to marry a Persian girl and he could never give me what I was looking for. I was not looking for anything since I had just gotten out of a long term relationship.

We started out calling our relationship many things but settled on 'friends'. We sleep at each others homes and talk almost daily. His family does not know about me. His last relationship of two years ended because she wanted marriage and children. She was American. I found out that he has only dated one Persian girl. One. I enjoy his company and his quirks. I also know that I need to run for the hills but his sensitivity and inner beauty (for a lack of a better word) keeps me drawn to him. I know that I fail his 'test' for a future...persian, muslim and child bearing but we keep coming back to each other.

Why am I sharing? So that someone else out there will know that dating a Persian man with 'family obligations' is not easy and will not end well. You have to be prepared to walk away at any moment. I have yet to walk away. I just cannot bring myself to do it yet.
nasa82 replied:
01/21/09
One more thing
I forgot to ask you for your email so you can just make one for this debate ...
anon84 replied: 03/04/09
Same story, noname32
Wow, noname32: same story here, but three years in the making.

We're in our mid to late twenties. We met at school, kept running into each other, and became inseparable. He's serious and studious (and smart)--nothing not to like, except that he distanced himself from me from the beginning, telling me that our relationship could only be temporary. I told him it didn't matter: we'd just stay together until he went back to Iran to get married.

I fell in love with him one year in. He tried to break up with me several times, and I dated other men in an effort to get over him. Nothing worked: I loved him, and I cleaved to him.

Two years into our relationship, he broke up with me before leaving on a two-week business trip. When he returned, I told him I had started dating someone else; but we were both miserable. We got back together, and even considered marriage--but not very seriously: we knew that marriage would have been hard, when there are so many easier paths. Still, I went through Persian grammar books and tried to imagine living with him in his country (he wanted to end his life there, but live in America). In my mind I still say: If only he'd been from almost any other country!

My story, though, has a sort of ending. He left three months ago for Iran, after our dating for nearly three years. He didn't contact me at all until a few days ago. He is engaged to a Persian woman, and doesn't know whether or when he'll return to the U. S. We've written each other a few times now, but his latest email was succinct: little more than "keep me in the loop."

I'd like to be a friend and wish him well in his life, but I still love him.
Sofia replied: 04/09/09
I know what you're going through...
I know exactly what youa re going through. At first I htought it was only him, but after eading all thee posts, I realize maybe there is soem truth to all of it and how Iranian men truly are.

I am a latina who was dating a persian man for many months up untilr ecently. We were in love, or so I thought. He was perfect in every way except he is a Momma's boy. Anyway, he talked about the future together and was my best firend. I was in bliss, a handsmoe, intelligent, hardworking man??? Too good to be true??? Well, it turned out it was. He had asked me to lear Persian and has just moved in together without telling his parents, and as soon as Mom found out, he dumped me. His reasons were that he rather be alone, that he'd known it was never gonna work but tried to make it work, and that we were different people. He even said that if he had loved me as much as I loved him, he would've stood up to his Mom for us. if this is true, then fine, but can you be a bit more tactful and keep that to yourself??? You're already breaking someone's heart, is there any need to stump on it even more?? And to be honest, I doubt he woul've really stood up for us to his Mom because when she found out he was soooo scared of her, like a little high school boy, I'd never seen anything like it!!!. And his Dad too, he told him it was too soon too fast and God knows what else... It was soo hard for me to comprehend, it was so out of left field!!! One day he's loving me and we're having this beautiful relationship, and literally the next day he brushed me off like I never meant anything to him. For a while I didn't know if he just truly didn't love me at all the whole time, or if it was his parents, or what, because he had said one that he'd sacrifice his happiness for them. The one thing I do know though; the culture difference, even though we had sooo much in common, whateverhis beliefs were, they tore us apart.
dahlia replied: 04/22/09
middle eastern man always wan'ts younger woman
Hi,

Never beleive a persian man when they say they love a woman older than them. They are middle east men. I have live in the middle east for years and I know that men in that country likes younger way much younger women . Why do you think they marry woman 10 or 20 years younger than them. I spoke to most of them and I know the answer.
dahlia replied: 04/22/09
persian man
I had the same relationship with a persian man. If a man tells you I cannot marry because of this..... that means he's into playing only. He'll make you feel he loves you because he needs you but when the time comes for him to leave he'll dump you like a garbage and he will never look back or feel remorseful that how persian men are especially the muslim persian man. I know by experience.
Charmednharmed replied: 06/21/12
Sad love story
I have been a victim of this same treatment. I so loved him. I the western american dating a persian man. He was charming. We had wonderful conversations and connected on many levels. But again I was the dirty little secret. I would suspect he was up to something when he would leave out of town for the weekend to see family but find receipts that he was elsewhere. I caught him in a lie. He forgot to hide his tickets to Maui when I came over. He left them on the table. I guess if I was a good persian woman I would never let my eyes drift. But there they were on the table right in front of me. From then on I would look and check to sew if I could find evidence of his lying to me. I found it many times but he would call me back and I would forgive him. Finally I just stopped looking. I was with him for nearly 4 years. I later found out that yes he was with many women persians and americans. He would just lie, lie by omission, and carryi secrets
Charmednharmed replied: 06/21/12
Sad love story part 2
Sad love story part 2
I finally stopped letting him treat me with this lack of respect. I broke it off. His persian friends thought of me as trash, and according to them that is how he talked of me as well. I am an educated professional woman. Loving and giving. Loyal and honest. I am not persian. I can understand that there is good and bad in every culture, you should judge a person individually nd not by their country born in. I was raised in a poor town with my two sisters by a widowed mother. He was born in Iran to a wealthy family. But in all this I was the one with more class and grace. I was the one loyal and true.
But I have also seen loving and wonderful persian husbands. That feel pride and lucky to have such a woman by thier side. They are confident and masculine. They do not fear because they do not have fragile egos. They do not need the constant reassurance from other women. These men that abuse women just because they are from another country are barbaric. They lack the maturity and live by rules of an uncivilized mind set. I don not have to understand a cultural value to know that harming another humans for your own pleasure and gain is wrong no matter what country you are from! For those wonderful persian husbands I have seen you are excluded
Sabrena replied: 04/22/14
Singaporean lady in love with iranian man
My ex-boyfriend is an iranian guy. I met him in my country in Singapore while he was doing his master and Phd.we had been in relationship for 6 years. I love him so much and i find him is the best man in my life. During our relationship, there is iranian lady who is madly in love with him too. She's educated but unfortunately with heartless heart. She knows that wevare on relationship but she is trying her very best to attract him! She is taking advantage and making her best of every moment coz she thinks that one day this man will hers. Natural behaviour of a man, he is finally fall for her. I never know that he has been cheated on me during our relationship period. He has gone to Swiss to pursue his Phd. How i can go know that he is attached to that girl? I saw their engagent photo (i think) cutting cake together during Nooroz 2014. I am emotionally hurt by his behaviour, his came out with a reason that he is not be able to be with a woman not from his culture. He said im not ambitious enough. And also mention about the mother disagree about our relationship. Thats my fate..i know that im truly in love with him..i would do anything for him...and i will be able to smile eventhough he hurts me that much. No matter what i will keep his love in my heart forever and wil always pray to god to give him happiness with his loved ones. Jaan..i still keep on praying that one day there is a chance to be together with you.
posted by nahid on 07/29/06
It must be in male gene.

I raised my son with love, taught him to love and respect everyone specially women.

He loves me and does everything for me, he is a wonderful son. But when it comes to his girl fiends a totally different character comes out. I feel sorry for women he is dating. He chits on them when I protest he says they do not deserve any better.

I do not want him to get married now but I am worried that with this attitude he will never find happiness. A woman in love may be blind or tolerating but later in a marriage they will want to be equal and they will divorce him.

All I can say is that I did not teach nor do I approve this behavior, his father passed away long ago. I wonder where he got this attitude from, it must be in male gene.

posted by chysta on 06/27/06
marde irani

ba in maghale kamelan movafegham,,,choon khodam ham az hamin noe ezdevaj va jodaee ro dashtam
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