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Iranian Man - مرد ایرانی
IranDokht.com  >  Hot Debate  >  Iranian Man - مرد ایرانی
About This Debate 
Increasingly Iranian women who grow up in the West choose Western men over Iranian men for dating or marriage. They claim that relationships with Iranian men are often caught in a web of traditional under codes that gradually force them to take traditional roles and undermine their independence and confidence. ... Read More
Artist: Sadaf Kiani  
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posted by malyia on 06/21/09
Do not agree!

I do not agree with what is being said. I am dating a Persian man. He has only been in the US for 11yrs, so he still has roots from his home country. He is very nice and generous and just wants to be loved like the rest of us. You all are putting them on some pedistool and giving them credit for being good at being bad. I think that when someone loves you they show it and they can not stop the feeling. These men that you dated probably didn't really wana be with you. I don't mean that in a bad way just that people can change when they want something. When you meet a good man that wants you no matter what he did before he would do wahtever it took to be and stay with you. I have a lot of confidence that I am the prize. I make him feel like he is my prize and he doeas the same. No pressure, no faking just simple. I would have never thought that I would fall in love with a Persian man. I will keep ya'll updated on what comes of it so far just pure love. No sad faces, no color, No Race, no jealousy, no envy, no greed. Some lust, lots of love. Peace
Juliet replied:
07/21/09

Good Evening,
I am in pain, but the more I read of Persian men the more I realize my decision to END IT was the the right decision. He came to me as a younger man looking for a long-term relationship. Yes, five years we would enjoy until his Momma made him get a Persian wife and have some kids. We kidded about it in the beginning. I would be Wife #1. Afterall, if you have sex with a woman for two minutes or 99 years, she is your wife, right? The Muslim way. I would always be there. I could babysit the kids.
And then I fell in love. And those silly conversations weren't funny anymore. I could never give him children and I was as old as his mother. But I felt 16.
Synonym for "woman" in Persian: "She who sits behind the curtain/veil/the screen. He hid me in my house, downstairs in the basement.

He was the sickliest Middle Eastern man in Beverly Hills and allergic to my dogs, so we went to my carpeted basement. It was our haven. We talked, we laughed, but WE NEVER WENT ANYWHERE. If we did, it was for Middle Eastern chicken always east of West Hollywood.
I was never invited nor allowed to go to his apartment in Beverly Hills, well, what he called Beverly Hills. I was not allowed past Fairfax. I never was going to meet his brother, his mother. I was his dirty little secret. And he loved being with his secret, but he was not faithful to our relationship. And he lied by omission, was always late to our rendezvous, and told me "there were no rules," yes, except the rule that I'd better be there when he wanted me. And I was. I would break my neck to get to the house to meet him. IT WAS LIKE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH A MARRIED MAN.

I am a vibrant, attractive, passionate woman who fell deeply in love with this boy. Get me a psychiatrist quick! He was almost 40, never married, lived with his brother for the last 18 years.

We talked politics, and I sympathized. He said I was the nicest
Republican he'd ever met.

I would break up in a text rage. He would always be the one to ask to come back. And why not? He called me his "woman," I'm making love to MY WOMAN. I guess all the others were just his girls.

Is there no moral code for a man to NOT come into a woman's home without good intention? Does he not have a moral code at all?

I give him back to you, the Persian Community, for he shall marry a very young Persian and then be texting me to come back to the basement.

How do you women put up with this? Four wives? That's how their brains work. They have no bonding genes. I feel sorry for the woman that ends up with him, because she, too, will be crying herself to sleep everynight.

Juliet Star-crossed lover in love with a man who lies with every breath he takes
posted by dahlia on 04/22/09
iranian man

Yes, I agree with you. They can be sweet if they wan't to. I have the same experience with the man I dated few months ago. I confronted him and asked him if it is true he had asked few of my colleague to go out on a date with him and he swear he had not ask any of them. He even said their ugly and not worth spending time with but I found later he had asked almost all the women to date him. I am so stupid because I have love him and thought he was a sweet, caring and hardworking man . I feel so tupid!!!

ARIANALY replied:
05/01/09
Persian man are nice, except when they lie.
Hello, this is my experience...I'm in America and in School (From Egypt originally). Here in America, I met a Persian man and dating him from 9 months. He told me I'm the only one he dates. Not sure, because he got a STD and blames me. I just want him to accept that his the one to blame and not me. How can I do this?
posted by dahlia on 04/22/09
persian man

and he never showed any signs of remorse. My friends who knows about him calls him a sex maniac because he would ask any woman to date with him, doesn't matter if your young or old. It makes him feels he is so handsome and lovable. He plays with womens emotions. I know men in the middle east are very respectful of their mother but have they ever thought she was a woman too?
ARIANALY replied:
05/07/09
Don't be stupid....move on...
These man are the worst ever. Since they're not in Iran, they have no respect for woman and just use the stupid none iranian woman.They are out of Iran and into the hunt in America and of course they want a free ride. Lets not be stupid anymore and detach from these hearth or rock man. They do not deserve to be care for, just use them, get something out of them and if you can't just leave with our dignity. Move along....There 's so manhy wonderful none iranian man out there. Don't you know, that iranian hate anything that is not iranian? including YOU! Do you think he loves you, NO, he doesn 't, he is just using your body....and maby your money, car and taking your time and all because they are nice to you.....GET YOUR SELF UP and going...find your happines somewhere else...this man are the best actors. Iranian Persian man are full of it.
posted by dahlia on 04/22/09
foolish 35 years old iranian man

Hi,

I have dated an Iranian man.In the beginning I thought he was a gentelman, hardworking man. He told me he has no vices, he does not , smoke,drink ,all he does is work , go home and clean he's house. He said he had a lot of relationship but did not last because all the women he have had a relationship were not good and they all had vices, they smoke etc.. so he broke up with them. I found a few months after that he had asked most of the women in my department to have a date with him. His work involve going from one place to another place and I have found out that not only in my working did he ask the women to go out with him but in his another working place that he goes to. I felt so stupid because I have love him.
posted by noname32 on 12/20/08
American woman - Persian Man

Six months ago I started seeing a Persian man. He is in his mid-30s and I am in my early 40s. Up front, he told me that he had to marry a Persian girl and he could never give me what I was looking for. I was not looking for anything since I had just gotten out of a long term relationship.

We started out calling our relationship many things but settled on 'friends'. We sleep at each others homes and talk almost daily. His family does not know about me. His last relationship of two years ended because she wanted marriage and children. She was American. I found out that he has only dated one Persian girl. One. I enjoy his company and his quirks. I also know that I need to run for the hills but his sensitivity and inner beauty (for a lack of a better word) keeps me drawn to him. I know that I fail his 'test' for a future...persian, muslim and child bearing but we keep coming back to each other.

Why am I sharing? So that someone else out there will know that dating a Persian man with 'family obligations' is not easy and will not end well. You have to be prepared to walk away at any moment. I have yet to walk away. I just cannot bring myself to do it yet.
anon84 replied:
03/04/09
Same story, noname32
Wow, noname32: same story here, but three years in the making.

We're in our mid to late twenties. We met at school, kept running into each other, and became inseparable. He's serious and studious (and smart)--nothing not to like, except that he distanced himself from me from the beginning, telling me that our relationship could only be temporary. I told him it didn't matter: we'd just stay together until he went back to Iran to get married.

I fell in love with him one year in. He tried to break up with me several times, and I dated other men in an effort to get over him. Nothing worked: I loved him, and I cleaved to him.

Two years into our relationship, he broke up with me before leaving on a two-week business trip. When he returned, I told him I had started dating someone else; but we were both miserable. We got back together, and even considered marriage--but not very seriously: we knew that marriage would have been hard, when there are so many easier paths. Still, I went through Persian grammar books and tried to imagine living with him in his country (he wanted to end his life there, but live in America). In my mind I still say: If only he'd been from almost any other country!

My story, though, has a sort of ending. He left three months ago for Iran, after our dating for nearly three years. He didn't contact me at all until a few days ago. He is engaged to a Persian woman, and doesn't know whether or when he'll return to the U. S. We've written each other a few times now, but his latest email was succinct: little more than "keep me in the loop."

I'd like to be a friend and wish him well in his life, but I still love him.
Sofia replied: 04/09/09
I know what you're going through...
I know exactly what youa re going through. At first I htought it was only him, but after eading all thee posts, I realize maybe there is soem truth to all of it and how Iranian men truly are.

I am a latina who was dating a persian man for many months up untilr ecently. We were in love, or so I thought. He was perfect in every way except he is a Momma's boy. Anyway, he talked about the future together and was my best firend. I was in bliss, a handsmoe, intelligent, hardworking man??? Too good to be true??? Well, it turned out it was. He had asked me to lear Persian and has just moved in together without telling his parents, and as soon as Mom found out, he dumped me. His reasons were that he rather be alone, that he'd known it was never gonna work but tried to make it work, and that we were different people. He even said that if he had loved me as much as I loved him, he would've stood up to his Mom for us. if this is true, then fine, but can you be a bit more tactful and keep that to yourself??? You're already breaking someone's heart, is there any need to stump on it even more?? And to be honest, I doubt he woul've really stood up for us to his Mom because when she found out he was soooo scared of her, like a little high school boy, I'd never seen anything like it!!!. And his Dad too, he told him it was too soon too fast and God knows what else... It was soo hard for me to comprehend, it was so out of left field!!! One day he's loving me and we're having this beautiful relationship, and literally the next day he brushed me off like I never meant anything to him. For a while I didn't know if he just truly didn't love me at all the whole time, or if it was his parents, or what, because he had said one that he'd sacrifice his happiness for them. The one thing I do know though; the culture difference, even though we had sooo much in common, whateverhis beliefs were, they tore us apart.
dahlia replied: 04/22/09
middle eastern man always wan'ts younger woman
Hi,

Never beleive a persian man when they say they love a woman older than them. They are middle east men. I have live in the middle east for years and I know that men in that country likes younger way much younger women . Why do you think they marry woman 10 or 20 years younger than them. I spoke to most of them and I know the answer.
dahlia replied: 04/22/09
persian man
I had the same relationship with a persian man. If a man tells you I cannot marry because of this..... that means he's into playing only. He'll make you feel he loves you because he needs you but when the time comes for him to leave he'll dump you like a garbage and he will never look back or feel remorseful that how persian men are especially the muslim persian man. I know by experience.
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